Brooke Janes
Just as the earth experiences different seasons, so do each one of us. Some last longer than others, some are painful, some are full of joy. I recently heard someone refer to the different seasons of our lives as different rooms. I was on a Zoom call for school a few months back, and one of our leaders invited us to close our eyes and ask God what room He has us in right now. As I sat with eyes closed, I saw a room I did not expect, a room I wanted to run far away from. The room that I saw was not pretty or inviting. It was old, with wood paneled walls, a small window, and completely empty. I saw a closed door on the other side of the room, and outside of the small window I could see a wrecking ball and hear construction work taking place. I saw myself standing at the entrance of this room with a small basket holding just a few of my items. I started feeling confusion and sadness, and the tears started trickling down my face. I thought for sure this was a mistake and like a child pouting I began questioning, “WHY God?! Why is THIS my room?” I saw my Heavenly Father, excitedly holding out His hands to guide me inside saying, “Come in! It’s only for a little while.” He began telling me that this was only a holding room while the finishing touches on my next room were being completed. I believe the small window allowing me to see out to a construction site was there to show me that I truly wouldn’t be here long, and that in this waiting, God was preparing. I believe the door on the opposite side of the room was showing me that there was in fact a way out, but that to get to my next season, I wouldn’t be able to walk out the door I came in through. The rooms and the hallways that got me to this place, though important and a vital part of my journey, would not be somewhere that I could return. I processed this moment with the Lord for the next few hours. There began to be a beautiful exchange, giving Him my disappointment and Him filling me with hope and expectancy.
My disappointment had come from a place of feeling like I’d been a “holding room” for years, feeling stuck as I wait for my time to come. You know when you are in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, people are getting called back, the room starts emptying, and you’re still just sitting? This is what the past few years have felt like for me. Everyone’s waiting looks different, and we are all entering different kinds of waiting rooms throughout our whole lives. My current waiting room looks like waiting on my husband. I have walked through the “single season” with many friends, and then I’ve watched one by one as they fall in love and leave the waiting room, while I’m still sitting, looking at my watch, wondering when in the world my turn is going to come. It has felt lonely, sometimes unbearable, and even like a waste of time, but I’ve come to realize that my good Father wastes absolutely nothing. Even while I wait and wonder, He is working all things together, and inviting me to come closer to Him.
I am a firm believer that until we can learn what He is teaching is one season, He can’t take us to the next. He doesn’t bring us into waiting rooms to hurt or to tease us, but to grow us. If I’m not taking the time to learn what He’s teaching, I won’t be ready and fully equipped to step into what He has for me. He has been teaching me to slow down and enjoy HIM more. He has been showing me how to be pursued, and what true love is actually supposed to look like. I came out of a relationship a few years ago that had twisted what love looked like and caused me to question my worth. I didn’t know who I was, because I was trying to find my identity in a man that continued to break my heart, rather than looking to the One who holds and heals my heart. I was always trying to prove that I was good enough to try to keep him from cheating, rather than listening to the voice of my Father telling me that I am more than enough, and He’ll never leave me. I believe the Lord has had me in this single season the past few years to teach me who I am, to show me my value, and to let Him pursue me. I had a moment last year where the Lord told me, “Before you can ever be one with someone else, you must first learn to be one with me.” I am pressing into this gift of time He has given me, allowing His presence to fill the space of the in between, learning how to hear His voice louder than any other. Though I long to be a wife, and I eagerly wait for the day I get to say, “I do,” the Lord is teaching me how to be a bride, how to be HIS bride. I don’t want to rush this moment. I don’t want to miss Him in the process as I try to hurry and escape the waiting.
In this “month of love” regardless of what your current season looks like, I encourage you to invite the Lord to show why you are here, and what you can learn. I encourage you to take the Lord’s hand and allow His love to wash over you. Be fully present, not rushing the process. Before you know it, your name will be called out of the waiting room and you’ll step into the promised land.
Written by: Brooke Janes
