Emily Hudson
It was a usual September day for me in 2019. There I was sitting in ministry school, feeling underqualified as usual. Looking to my right and left, I can see these powerful men and women of the faith. People who led whole ministries, missionaries who have had experience sleeping on dirt floors and bringing the gospel to the outer reaches of the world. And here I was, an 18-year-old girl from Shawnee, Oklahoma who just graduated high school and quite frankly had just opened her bible for the first time in years. I was hurting, broken, and lost. I knew I needed healing and direction for my life and growing up in church, I at least knew that Jesus healed people. So, what better place to go than to ministry school. God can fix me, right? But this usual September day quickly became everything but usual. As I sat reclined in my seat waiting for the school day to end, a leader came on stage and captivated my attention. She said that the Father wanted to encounter people today and urged the ones who wanted to encounter him to come to the front. I knew this was for me. I knew I needed a touch. I knew I needed change. Hunger began to grow inside of me to experience this God in a real way that so many people talked about. Without thinking twice, I hurled my way to the front. I pushed my way through hundreds of people with the same hunger within me hoping to experience him in a real way. She told us to lift our hands and to just wait and he will show up. I threw up my hands, closed my eyes, and waited.
And then he showed up.
Hot tears began to well up in my eyes. A warmth started to cascade over every part of my being. I fell to the ground and wept. For the first time in my life, I felt fully accepted. Fully loved. I felt set apart, chosen, and deeply longed for. For an hour I laid there in the undying love that so many people talked about, and I was finally experiencing it for myself. I finally got a taste of the love David talks about…" because your steadfast love is better than life." This love was better than life. I found my purpose that day. I came out of that encounter finally understanding why I was in ministry school. Why I was put on this earth. I knew after that moment that I wanted to give the rest of my life to that love, no matter what it looked like. I wanted to spend the rest of my days telling people about the undying love the Father has for them. That no matter how broken or underqualified someone felt that the God of the universe thinks about them every second of every day. That longs to just talk to them. He longs to encounter them with his healing and never-ending love.
I always had my life completely planned out. I knew what I was going to do after ministry school, what college I was going to go to, where I wanted to end up. I thought you found purpose in what you can accomplish in life. But after that moment my purpose was simple, and it was within a name, and his name is Jesus.
“Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life, for I am your oasis. Simply join your life with mine. Learn my ways and you’ll discover that I’m gentle, humble, easy to please. You will find refreshment and rest in me. For all that I require of you will be pleasant and easy to bear.” Matt. 11:28-30 (TPT)
If I can leave you with one thought today, it would be to come to him. He doesn't ask you to have it all together. He is not expecting you to have it all figured out. He wants you, whatever that looks like. He wants your authentic heart. The heart that he thought about as he bled on a cross. Whether that is a broken mess, tired, or not even understand where your heart is, come to him. Come. Run. He wants you. He wants to take your burdens, worries, fears, doubts, anger, and disappointments. He wants to turn your beauty to ashes. And the beautiful thing about Jesus is that he is not going to force himself upon you or force you to do anything you aren't ready for. He is not in a rush to make you a perfect human. He just wants a relationship with you. To sit and love you. To give you your purpose as he loves you in his arms.
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and eat with him, and he with me.” Rev. 3:20
He met an underqualified young girl from a small town and gave her purpose, and he wants to do the same with you today. He is knocking, and he wants to show you how much you’re worth. That you were worth him dying for you, and he would happily do it all over again. You were the joy set before him. Wherever you’re at right now, ask him to encounter you with his love. I promise you; he will come and change your life forever.
Written by: Emily Hudson
