Kelly Encarnacion
Worthy- something of value, something that is deserving. Something I didn’t know I was. When you’re a kid, this isn’t a word you hear often but some know the feeling very well, the feeling of not being enough. I grew up in church and I knew who God was but I grew up religiously, which was both good and bad. A less religious relationship with God came later in life but like most teens my age in this culture, I got caught up in the wrong relationships and sometimes wrong friendships. I lived out of a place of striving, striving to please God but also trying to do everything my friends were doing because my parents were loving but strict. I lived a hypocritical lifestyle but even in my lowest moments, I would hear Gods voice whispering “ this isn’t who you are”. Deep down in my heart, I wanted to be the woman God was calling me to be but I didn’t know how to get there, I was lost and had let too many people define who I was. I cared too much about what people thought and didn’t know what God thought about me. After a lot of bad relationships and mistakes, my self worth was nonexistent. I would continue to pour myself out in my relationships but be left with a broken heart, head full of lies and completely empty. I felt worthless, I would give myself to people that were broken and had no idea or intention of protecting my heart but I thought, helping them and giving my best self would make me feel better, would make them love me. But when they would hurt me, I felt like my best wasn’t good enough, I let that be the measure of what I was worth. I had no boundaries and I let just about everyone BUT God define my value. I just wanted to be loved but I didn’t know just how loved I already was. I wish I could say I have it all figured out but Jesus has been taking me on this journey for the last couple of years of my identity, of His extravagant love for me and one of just how worthy I’ve always been. I can proudly say that I am not where I was and I am not who I was. Everyday he reminds me of my worth, everyday I make the decision to believe what he says about me and when I meditate on his truth, it’s healing the YEARS worth of negative things I said about myself and situations/people I let define me. He is renewing my mind. I want to encourage you and say, you are worthy and more than enough because GOD defined your worth when he created you and when Jesus died on the cross. I don’t know when the crown on your head got tilted or fell off but the Lord is placing it back on your head. We have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Your relationships don’t define you, your mistakes don’t define you, what people say about you doesn’t define you. God made you a queen before the foundations of the earth. And to be real I still deal with insecurities and triggers and they are hard sometimes but I know the truth now. I am worthy.
Written by: Kelly Encarnacion
